"Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi."Larry Wall
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There's just loads of things us men want to know about women ...... what they think ...... what they like ..... what they don't like ......... why our chat up lines don't work ......and so on ......
Unfortunately, there's even more reasons why we can't, won't .......... or DAREN'T ask them and so we just plod on with our lives in the great unknowing......... always wondering.
When I asked the male subscribers to my dating newsletter what questions they always wanted answered by the fairer sex there were a number of questions that were repeated again and again and again! When I saw this knowledge was being sought after by so many .......... but being found by so few I made my decision ..........
ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH .................. We deserved to know the answers!!!! We NEEDED to know the answers!
So my quest began, and armed with pad and pen, bullet proof vest and perhaps just a little 'dutch courage' I went into battle.
Here are the questions I posed for you and a general concensus of the answers:
1. What attracts you to a man?
A. Without a doubt one answer that reared it's head quite a few times was 'Confidence'. Women seem to be very attracted to someone who is (or at least appears to be) full of confidence. After that, the girls I spoke to were really looking for someone who acted just like they did. For example, a quiet and shy girl will generally not be looking for a 'life and soul of the party' type whereas a real party girl will be most interested in a man who looks like he can really enjoy himself. The best advice seems to be ......... if you find a girl you're attracted to, take a good look at the way she acts (as well as her attitude) and adjust your own actions so that you match.
2. How much do a man's look matter to a woman?
A. On first impressions a good looking man will obviously catch a girl's eye but I'm assured that this is generally just an initial, superficial reaction. Time after time I was told "look at so and so's boyfriend ...... he's hardly a stunner!". It seems that rather than looks, it's whether you're funny, trustworthy, intelligent and kind that really matters to a woman.
Note: This wasn't true for everyone I questioned. One girl wouldn't be interested in a man unless his shoes sparkled ......... and he didn't have small hands!!
3. Are there any chat up lines that actually work?
A. I guess we all really know the answer to this one? No was pretty much a unanimous response ......... although a hunky Mel Gibson lookalike could probably still get away with the cheesiest line going!
I'm told that we should definitely forget the 'Your eyes look like stars fallen from the skies' type of line and try something with a greater chance of
success such as a witty comment about the bar you're in or just a casual comment that simply serves to arouse her curiosity.
4. Are Bars and Clubs the best places to search for a girlfriend?
A. Most of the girls questioned said that they had been on dates after being asked out in a bar or club. However, most preferred totally different venues when looking for their ideal mate. Libraries and bookshops rated highly (looking for a man with intelligence?), as did supermarkets, friend's parties and strangely, trendy video shops. Incidentally, the best information I've found on where you should look to find your ideal date is the 'Busy Person's Dating Guide'. There are some great ideas that most people would never even think of. The guide can be found at: http://www.dating-tips-online.com/bookoffer.htm
5. How do I know if a girl who's flirting with me is really interested?
A. The answer here seems to be ........ watch and wait.
A woman who is flirty by nature will usually be the same with every man she's in contact with. I'm told that generally we should assume she's interested in us but not get too dragged in until you've seen her in conversation with at least another couple of men. If she's just as touchy feely with them as she was with you then you've got your answer. Also, keep a look out for positive signs ........ If you're in a group situation, notice whether she makes eye contact with you more than anyone else and whether she goes out of her way to stand or sit near you. Above all ........ don't immediately think that she's just flirty with everyone ....... she may be really interested in YOU!!
Got any more questions you always wanted to ask but daren't? My embarrassment levels have been reduced now ......... and to be honest I got quite a kick out of it so please, send me more questions and I'll go into bat for you again. Send your questions to questions@dating-tips-online.com with a subject heading of 'Questions to Women'. I promise I'll get them answered and (if they're clean enough) include them in a special no-holds-barred report and send you a free copy.
Chris Towland
Chris is the editor of www.Dating-Tips-Online.com - one of the internet's largest free collections of tips and advice relating to love and dating. In addition, Chris's dating newsletters are read and enjoyed by more than 10,000 subscribers. If you've enjoyed this article then a visit to Dating Tips Online is highly recommended:
http://www.dating-tips-online.com
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