"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to."Bill Vaughn
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Helping Children to Cope with Divorce
If you are a responsible parent facing the minefield of divorce, a prime concern will be helping your child cope with the process. If, on the other hand you are a parent who believes that old chestnut, "My child isn't bothered” or "kids take things in ...
Identity Theft: The Perfect Victim - Your Child
Many of us work hard to protect our identities, but fail to think about protecting the identities of our children. The fact that they are underage gives us the impression that children's identities are not as valuable as our own, when in fact; their ...
Mate Seekers
Single Americans want to marry someone who shares their Innermost Thoughts and Feelings rather than someone rich or of the same religion, a survey said on Wednesday. Today's young Americans are on a quest to find their "Soul Mate," compared with past ...
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Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses cheat in the first place? They certainly didn't get married with the intention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so why did they do it? Many "infidelity experts" on the internet these days are offering solutions on how to find PROOF that will expose your spouse or catch them "in the act". But instead of putting 100% of your effort in finding solid proof, your energy would be better spent understanding what went wrong in your marriage. It's fairly common for "chronic" cheating spouses to give up on a relationship the moment things start to become a little difficult. Rather than admitting and accepting that there's a problem in their marriage, they look for someone else to fulfill their needs. These "needs" could be anything from a physical connection to strictly intellectual relations leading to an emotional affair. Affairs take place because one spouse's needs are no longer being met by their partner. Cheating spouses are then drawn to someone else who WILL (temporarily) meet those needs. What increases the chance of an affair taking place is when a man marries a woman who idealizes love and spends her whole life going in and out of marriages in search of her "perfect soul mate". Soul mates may exist in romance movies but in real life, it takes work to create a lasting relationship. Like it or not, marriage is WORK...but it doesn't have to be "hard" work. If you want win your spouse over after an affair, you need to know how to meet his/her needs.
Every couple goes into marriage with expectations of each other that are NEVER CLEARLY DISCUSSED simply because they don't REALLY understand, nor can they clearly explain what their own expectations are...let alone their spouses! Cheating spouses cheat because they're in search of unmet, yet unspoken deep emotional needs. It's as simple as this..... If YOU aren't meeting your spouse's needs, they will find SOMEONE ELSE who WILL!
This fact is also one of the reasons why most affairs don't last. Let me explain...
When your spouse met this other man/woman, they THOUGHT that
this other person was meeting their needs, but what was really happening is they were blinded by the "Romance" stage of a relationship.
You and your spouse went through this stage also. If you think back to the beginning of your relationship, you may not have noticed at the time, but the two of you were on your BEST behavior.
Looking back, it might even seem like your spouse was a different person back then.
The reason?
There is actually a chemical released in your brain that makes you feel "infatuated" with this other person. It would even be safe to say that cheating spouses can't think straight when they're caught up in this "biological phenomenon".
This is also why some couples make irrational decisions early in their relationship, like going off to Las Vegas and getting married on a whim. Down the road, after the Romance stage of their relationship is over, many of these couples eventually get divorced.
So if you're worried that your cheating spouse is "in love" with this other person, chances are, the affair is VERY short lived...which means you STILL have a chance to win over your spouse!
You owe it to yourself (and your children if you have them) to give your marriage a second chance. In fact, here's a statistic that might give you some inspiration....
A study from the Institute for American Values found that "almost eight out of 10 couples who avoided divorce were happily married five years later."
If you can just get over this affair, this obstacle in your marriage, and start meeting each other's needs, I promise you, your marriage will be much stronger and more fulfilling than it was...even BEFORE the affair took place.
About the Author
After working with couples for over 11 years, Larry Bilotta discovered the path that ALL couples travel when headed for divorce. This "map", called "The Secret Path to Divorce", shows you how to recognize the WARNING SIGNS that lead to divorce...before it's too late to save your marriage. Get your FREE Report at http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com
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Military divorce rate upKOLD-TV, AZ - 19 hours agoFigures obtained by The Associated Press show that the divorce rate among active duty soldiers in Fiscal 2008 was 3.5% -- up from 3.3% the year before. ... |
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