"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."Les Brown
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Women around the world know what a "bootie call" is, some of us have been in the predicament and the rest of us only hear the sad stories of those who have been sucked into world of bootie-calls only to be heart broken. What most of us don't hear about is how to avoid the entire bootie-call situation to begin with and that's what you'll learn to do in this detailed article…that's not for the faint of heart!
A dear friend of mine, I wont mention names because she knows who she is suffered a great deal and it was all thanks to the bootie-call syndrome.
Yes, there is such a thing as a bootie-call syndrome, it's a disease with symptoms and treatments, so it deserves no lesser of a name.
Allow me to set the scene to explain what happened to my friend, pay attention because it could happen to you.
After a string of miserably failed relationships basically due to just bad boyfriends my single friend fell into a state of depression. She felt that she would never find that perfect companion, there was no one on this earth intended for her, she felt worthless, unattractive and after a couple of years living the single life, she was tired of being alone.
One afternoon my friend and a co-worker went out for lunch at a restaurant--that's where it happened!
A man sitting a few tables away stared at her, when she would catch him looking at her she would look away as not to draw even more attention to her but the damage was already done. Each time she looked his way, he was looking at her and the more she would look him, the more signals he was sending her way by winking or nodding his head.
Let me point something out quickly, a "normal" single lady (if there is such a thing) wouldn't have given this bozo the time of day but under the circumstances, my friend thought it was cute behavior.
My friend and her co-worker sat and giggled over lunch, whispering about this man's actions until he strolled over to her table using every corny pick up line in the book. Commenting on her eyes, her clothing, her smile and how he even liked the sound of her name.
To make a long story shorter, a few days later my friend phoned me in tears because she slept with this man. She felt like a tramp, she was ashamed and hurt by what she allowed herself to do. My friend had never given into such temptation for someone that she was simply attracted to, she wasn't even sure that she was attracted to him but she only knew that she was carried away by the attention he gave her.
And that my friends, is exactly the basis of a bootie-call and it happens to many unsuspecting women every day. If not monitored closely, it can evolve into the bootie-call syndrome and be emotionally devastating for a woman.
Luckily my friend realized what
she had done and some time later when this man eventually did call, she gave him a quick boot!
So what can you do to avoid this trap? It's simple really but requires discipline and the steps are outlined below.
Understand that love takes time.
Don't get carried away with a moment, love does take time and fifteen minutes isn't enough. If you've been single for a while, don't "settle" for whatever comes along. You should know what you're looking for, this is called your standard and you should never lower your standards.
Know that you are worthy.
Just because you've had a few failed relationships doesn't mean you are not worthy of love. Don't give up on having a deep, meaningful and loving relationship even if you've been single for five years or more. You possess qualities that someone will love, for that someone you're looking for and that you will one day find.
Don't speed up the process.
If you meet someone, you like them, your extremely attracted to them, everything is going well, you don't see yourself being able to settle down with them and you feel the need to breed--don't rush. Sometimes even the best of people can get wrapped up into the bootie-call syndrome without ever meaning for it to happen. If the feelings are purely attraction then end the relationship.
Market yourself.
There's no better way to feel good about being single than marketing yourself. Get your nails done, get your hair styled, buy a new outfit and go take some pictures! Join an online dating service, post a profile, choose some respectful venues to post ads in search of your soul mate, tell your friends you want a date, join a singles club, hang out with friends every chance you get, don't sit around at home and most importantly, be happy with yourself. No one can love you, until you love yourself and dealing with the aspects of being single is the only way to truly accomplish that kind of happiness.
Mr. Right can't find you if he doesn't know where to look.
Putting it all together!
When you know the dos and don'ts, this type of scenario is less likely to happen to you. My friend had to step back and take a long look at what happened. Then she made the appropriate changes, since she has in fact met a man who is madly in love with her and they are planning to get married next summer. Being single is hard enough without allowing yourself to make things harder, avoid a bootie-call if you want more.
About the Author
About the author: Lisa Gonzalez is a successful mom, a wife, a generalist freelance writer, a pizza junkie and the owner of www.keywordprincess.com and www.zonemom.com. Lisa lives and works from her home on the east coast of picturesque South Carolina with her rambunctious family.
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Happiness for Bhutan Olympians is not goldenChina DailyNeither Sherab nor Kunzang expect to win medals for Bhutan, an impoverished, largely Buddhist country between India and China which only opened up to foreigners in 1974, banned television until 1999, and uses happiness to measure its success. |
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