"I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them."Pablo Picasso
|
| |
Birthstones and their meanings
A gift that incorporates birthstones is a thoughtful one for a mother or grandmother, especially when a new baby has come into the family. And of course, they make great birthday presents! JanuaryTraditional Gem(s): Garnet, Rose QuartzModern Gem(s): ...
Creating False Expectations For Clients
By far every agency on the internet claims to be the one which does the most to find the ideal partner for men. Of course, not every website is dishonest, but by far and large the majority are merely stating what the client wants to hear. Every man ...
Proper Medical Identification Could Save Your LIFE
Everyone with a medical condition or allergy should have a medical id alert bracelet. There are many places that you can find a wide variety of medical alert jewelry styles, especially on the internet. Most are custom-engraved, stainless steel medical ID ...
|
|
|
| |
The loss of a family companion animal is difficult, and my heart goes out to you. We come to love our animals and feel a deep sense of loss when they die. Some people tell me they’ve felt more grief over the loss of their dog than of any human being in their life. It’s not always recognized by others, but those would only be people who have not lost an animal companion they loved. Or I should say, who loved them. They give us the unconditional love that helps us thrive.
When we find out our pet is going to die, we each react differently. Each of us experiences grief in a different way. Maybe your partner is angry, and you are tearful, and you are both dealing with the impending death of your animal companion in your own way. The stages begin with denial (shock) and then move on to rage, I believe, but it's a spiral, or an onion, not linear. It comes in waves and doubles back and different feelings are layered in there.
It is normal to not “hear” that your pet is going to die and it’s normal to be enraged that nobody cares, nothing can be done, and it can’t be fixed. And also to be angry that you and the animal are suffering so. Some individuals are more prone to turning tender feelings into anger, and sometimes we just don’t want to talk about it.
In fact, and this is particularly poignant, one of the reasons we love our animals so much is because when we're upset they'd don't ask us why. They just stick around and love us, same as always.
Remember the general family EQ guidance that all feelings are welcome here, though all actions are not. Your partner is an adult and is in charge of his or her own wellbeing, as you are of yours. As with any adult, you can
accept and acknowledge the feelings, and can make it known you’re available to talk with. If there are any behaviors from this anger that are destructive in any way, then seek help. You can also use, “When you say X, I feel Y. Please do Z.”
Any two adults will generally grieve in a different way. They’ll be at different stages in the grief process, have different backgrounds, different histories of previous loss, have different personalities, and also can reverberate off the other, i.e., if he’s crying all the time, then she becomes stoic. If she’s angry, he tries to remain calm.
Stay centered and manage your own grief process. Take care of yourself. Massage is good at such a time, as such grief is beyond words.
If this is one of your children’s first major loss, it’s going to be a tremendous growth process for them, as you know. Be there. Don’t demand they feel one way or another. Don’t try and “fix” them. Process when you can with them as a means of sharing the adversities of life. Adversity builds resilience, and difficult as it is, they’re part of life.
Seek comfort and help for yourself – friends, a minister, a coach, a therapist. Take care of yourself and model this for your children. You can’t share the whole experience with them because they aren’t having the same experience as you because they are they, and you are you.
I’m sorry for your loss.
About the Author
Susan Dunn,MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching for all your needs. Coaching and distance learning in Emotional Intelligence. EQ matters more to your success and happiness than IQ and it can be learned. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Spirituality is key to kids' happiness - eMaxHealth.com
New study suggests spirituality, not religious practices, determine the level of child happiness. To make children happier, we may need to encourage them to develop a strong sense of personal worth, according to Dr. Mark Holder from the University of ...
Spirituality is key to kids’ happiness - WebWire
To make children happier, we may need to encourage them to develop a strong sense of personal worth, according to Dr. Mark Holder from the University of British Columbia in Canada and his colleagues Dr. Ben Coleman and Judi Wallace. Their research1 ...
One life to live, so choose happiness - Edmond Sun
EDMOND — Something about warm water showering on my skin loosens up my vocal chords and drowns out flaws in my singing ability. For some unexplainable reason, lately the song my neighbors and family are buying earplugs for goes, “Raindrops on ...
Happiness is a Warm Face - San Francisco Gate
One of life's simple pleasures is when the rising sun slowly warms up your face. If you close you eyes during sunrise and just listen, chances are your mind will be sharper than many of your photographs. I've observed many photographers shooting with ...
Dorthy.com Survey Reveals Findings Around New Year's Resolutions - PR Inside
A study commissioned by Dorthy.com and conducted by Harris Interactive® reveals that, while women are more likely than men to make New Year's resolutions (74% of women versus 58% of men) among adults who have ever made a resolution, men are more ...
|
