"Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."Russell Baker
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Eternal Wit
Whoever said, "You can't take it with you" was obviously not referring to a sense of humor ... Here is a list of actual epitaphs from departed souls who clearly had more to say than the time to say it, or from their next of kin, who wanted to be sure ...
Hippo Rage - a humorous look at stress and anger today
(text of a mini-keynote speech by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy,which brought down the house in Gatineau, Quebec, April 21, 2002)Has anybody here ever been stuck in traffic for a frustratingly long time? Put up your hand if you have.Oooh! Don’t you just ...
Top 10 Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush
Ten Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. BushA satirical and humorous look at the man conservatives dub one of the greatest chief executives to occupy the White House 10. Great Articulation. During his press conferences I’ve yet to hear the president ...
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A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet:
1. You can't find your bike helmet.
2. You lost your Darth Vader mask on the opening day of a Star Wars movie. A welding helmet is a good substitute; however, you will have to mimic the Darth Vader breathing noises yourself.
3. You do not know your science very well but you think it would be cool to make your own fireworks.
4. You are scared of identity theft.
5. You wear a welding helmet in hopes of attracting women, making it clear to them that you are manly and can fix things.
6. You want to reenact the opening credits from The Simpson's and you are playing the part of Homer in the
nuclear power plant (in this case, you will also need a glow stick).
7. You think that cartoons are real and there is a possibility of an anvil dropping from the sky.
8. If people who look at you turn into stone then you might want to wear a welding helmet.
9. You want to give your kids a punishment they won't forget and decide to make them wear the welding helmet to school for a week.
10. If you are scared of the sun giving you wrinkles or skin cancer, you could use a welding helmet to protect yourself from the sun's harmful rays.
11. You have horrendously bad breath and/or forgot to put you makeup on.
12. You can't find your sunglasses.
13. You are someone who always wants to be on top of fashion and thinks that welding helmets could be the new thing.
14. You are sick of relatives pinching your cheeks at family
reunions.
15. You are a celebrity and you don't want the paparazzi taking any pictures of you.
16. You are sick of shallow people falling for you because of your looks and want people to like you for your witty humor. Wearing a welding helmet would definitely be a way to see if that special someone likes you because of your personality.
17. You think that the end of the world is near and somehow a welding helmet will save you.
18. You want people to think that you are weird, have learning problems, or that you are half man and half machine.
19. You want to do your own rendition of Phantom of the Opera called Phantom of the Tool Shed.
20. You think that your partner in your science lab class secretly wants to destroy you.
21. You had an extremely bad haircut.
22. You think you are like Cyclops from X-Men and you have uncontrollable optic blasts from your eyes.
23. You want to scare little children. (Carrying a blow torch and laughing will also help you in this goal).
24. You don't ever want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
25. And I guess you might possibly want a welding helmet if you think you will possibly be welding
something anytime soon.
These are just a few of the reasons that it is probably a good idea for you to wear a welding helmet. After you get your own welding helmet, I am sure that you will find this list to be very limited and you will find thousands of other uses for it.
About the Author
Kaitlin Carruth is a client account specialist with 10x Marketing - More Visitors. More Buyers. More Revenue. For more information about welding helmets, please visit Tool America.
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