"Business, more than any other occupation, is a continual dealing with the future; it is a continual calculation, an instinctive exercise in foresight."Henry R. Luce
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Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2 10. Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up and apologize profusely. 9. Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the table, turn ...
Santa For A Day
The year was 1981. I was eighteen years old. Much too young to be Santa Claus, right? Especially with my short skinny self. Right? Wrong!It’s all my fault. I can blame nobody else. I was the one who opened my big mouth, and I paid the price.I was working ...
Victoria To Host 1st Annual "Feast Of Fools"
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005.For Immediate Release - March 9, 2005VICTORIA TO HOST FIRST ANNUAL "FEAST OF FOOLS"!VICTORIA -- The capital of British Columbia will play host on April 1, 2005 to the 1st Annual “Feast of Fools”, in honor of the city’s ...
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I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat, that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the facility is clean. You normally take the paper band off and throw it away when you go to use the john. Instead, I saved mine and each morning before leaving the room slipped it back on the toilet seat, giving the impression I never used it.
After day five of this I could only imagine the maid’s reaction.
Staring, she said, “What are you, some kind of a lizard?”
To me, bathrooms are like Greek temples, made of stone and cool marble, reassuring, serene, little worlds of their own, a place of refuge, shut away from the world and its problems.
Such places thus earn the more dignified name of “rest room.”
For example, if you hate your dead-end job, and you share a communal bathroom down the hall with the employees of other companies in the building, chances are you’ll spend more time here than you should, away from a threatening, dishonest boss, ringing phones and mountains of paperwork.
I admit I’m selfish. When I use the communal john, I want it all to myself---alone.
I also don’t want my imitation Greek temple sullied. Therefore, I never perform major bodily functions here (the only time I ever did I was sick).
There’s this guy. Every morning at 8:45 a.m. he’s seated on the throne. Now, I fully know this is not a common subject for a column, and I don’t want you to think I’m strange. But I’m truly curious about this guy, perplexed, baffled,
whatever.
Since it’s only 8:45 in the morning, he can’t have been at work very long, not much more than an hour. Why can’t he hold it longer? Why can’t he do his disgusting business at home before he comes to work?
What does he do, process food like a goose?
Now, we all drink coffee, which I admit goes through you pretty fast. So I’m not against use of the john for small calls of nature. But I’m thinking of posting a sign, which reads, “This Facility Used for Minimal Body Functions Only.”
Don’t foul my Greek temple with your digesting bowels.
More bathroom palacial.
Bathrooms like restaurants should be rated in travel books as to how good they are. For instance, we’ve all seen gas station bathrooms in truck stops on Labor Day where the unflushed facility hasn’t been cleaned and the globs of stuff in there are so putrid you think they may reach out and grab you.
Such places assign us lower on the scale of evolution.
Disgusting!
Then there are bathrooms like the one I saw at Pebble Beach Resort. The heart soars. You could eat off the floor. Little, moist cloth towels hanging from silver trays for cleaning your hands. Embossed toilet paper. Gleaming brass and silver fixtures.
A dream come true.
I was in tears.
© Copyright 2004 by SammonSays.com
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 Serbia bids farewell to Yugo - Guardian Unlimited
By DUSAN STOJANOVIC Associated Press Writer= BELGRADE, Serbia (AP) - Why does a Yugo have a defroster on the rear window? To keep your hands warm while you push it. That's just one of the "Yugo jokes" about the cheap and much ...
UPDATE 2-Colonial talking to investors over FCC stake - Forbes
BARCELONA, Nov 21 (Reuters) - Spanish property company Colonial is talking to potential investors about its 15 percent stake in builder FCC and its Riofisa division, Colonial Chief Executive Pere Vinolas said on Friday. No agreement over the ...
Top Yugo Jokes - Post Chronicle
How come a Yugo has a defroster on the rear window? To keep your hands warm during pushing it. That was just one of the "Yugo jokes" about the cheap and much-maligned Yugo subcompact that won notoriety for being one of the worst cars (Jokes) ever ...
Yugo Jokes Back in Vogue: Serbia Says Goodbye - National Ledger
Yugo jokes are back in vogue as Serbia bid a goodbye to the little car. How do you double the value of a Yugo? Fill the gas tank! The car is history and the last yugo has rolled off the assembly line. If you believe Detroit, GM, Ford and Chrysler can ...
Eurobits: Prince William's Penis (Photo & Video) plus Yugo Jokes - Post Chronicle
The royal staff of Prince William (his penis) has been photographed and no more Yugo jokes as the Serbian auto maker is closing up shop. First thing first, it would seem that the future Monarch's member was shot after he got caught with his pants ...
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