"I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit."Kahlil Gibran
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How to write funny ideas and make easy money.
Avoid Cliches and you miss the joke! "Avoid cliches" - that's what would-be writers are always being warned. But in comedy writing,CLICHES offer a rich source of humor. In fact many cliches can be easily and directly used as cartoon captions. As you know ...
Old Sparky! Needlephobia, Nerve Conduction Tests, and Electromyelograms
I felt queasy contemplating the nerve conduction test and electromyelogram (EMG) I was about to have. The nerve conduction test involves taping electrodes to the skin and sending a small jolt of electric current to them. During the EMG, the doctor inserts ...
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2 10. Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up and apologize profusely. 9. Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the table, turn ...
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E Mom dot Com A short story by Ravindra Torane
This is a story of a boy named Anko. He liveed in Mumbai, a metro city in India. Anko was 12 year old . He never studied well, he was computer crazy. All the time he sticked to the computer,either playing computer games or serfing on net. He never played any real ground game with his friends either. One day he was serfing on the net going from one site toanother. His mom was helplessly watching his aimless wandering on the info high way. The info highway was full of temptations. There were malls selling everything real and virtual. There were some chat rooms where gangs of some netizens were talking rubbish. There were cyber police too. But they were almost nonentities. Anko visited all these places but lingered at nowhere. His mom had asked her to study for seventeen times. But he did not pay heed and continued. After some time he said, "Mama I am hungry"But Mama did not respond. So he shouted "Mama give me something to eat, I 'll study after eating." Yet his mama did not get up. Usually she used to bring his favorite eatables to his work station and feed him. But this was not happening today.He was astonished. Was mama angry? But Mama was cool. Instead she said " Don't ask me.You may get an e- mom on your Internet. She may be better than me. Ask her to feed you. As you get friends you may get a better mother there." Mom's coldness surprised Anko. She used to fret and fume every time. But today she had no qualm . He did not know what to say. He decided to find a mom on Internet. Internet provides anything, he told himself. You can get friends,you can get brides. So why not an e-mom? He typed e-mom and asked the search engine to find her. Wow! there were many moms. One mom was asking fir charity. Another one was eager to impart vital information to girls only. A tearful mom was in search of her drug addict son. Anko did not like any of these moms. But he continued search by prefixing some words or letters to the all synonyms of the word 'Mom' like mother, mummy, mama, and other words in Indian languages like Maa, amma, aai, ammi, maay etc. Soon his search yielded fruits. A website flashed a mesage "Choose your desired Mom from one of the countries" Anko clicked India in a reflex action. Presto!A beautiful face of a young mom appeared on the computer screen. "Hi! my lad, how are you?What do you want from me ? I have every thing - tasty eatables,toys, clothes, books, game-CDs,cartoons.Just ask for it and it will be available in minutes--Try my son, try! See my miracles, see my magic". Her words were mesmerizing. Anko was influenced by the spell of it. He went on clicking. There was a long menu and Anko clicked on some of his favorite dishes like Manchurian, potato wafers, fish fry and ice creams,etc. 'Let me see what happens' he said to himself. "No Anko" His real mother was saying something. But he was in no mood to listen. he was so engrossed with thetalk of e- mom on the computer screen that he forgot his real mother. "Type your name & address please"The e mom requested Anko typed their home address as an obedient kid. "Very well, now please wait for 15 to 20 minutes , and e mom started telling some stories ,jokes, songs etc. Anko and his real mom did not feel the time gap. Within few minutes their door bell rang. A lady similar
to the e-mom arrived with packages of food Anko had clicked. Anko and his real mother were shocked. "Hi you must be Anko. Here are your favorite dishes." Appeatising Aroma of the food spread in the entire home. "But we don't want it. Anko tried to say." "you have just ordered it, my son I am the e- mom." "Please sign the receipt." She handed over a receipt with a bill of heavy amount of costs, delivery charges, tax and surcharge etc. "No we do not need it" Anko protested "This is not fair. You have just ordered it on the net. It was immediately sent to the nearest outlet and I was asked to deliver it. I am in time. Our super market is aiming to do business at the speed of thought as per the words of Mr. Bill Gate" "But I thought it was all fun" Anko replied "No Fun,it is business. Trust me our food is very tasty. You will definitely like it and you will call me again and again. We will give you concession on repeat orders. And if you do not like our dishes, we will not charge at all .That is, e will adjust the amount in your next purchases" e- Mom said with a smile. Now Anko realized that the e-mom was actually a salesgirl from the super market. Its branch was recently opened near Anko's home. "Your credit card please" E mom asked Anko's real mom. I don't have it. Anko 's mom said "Oh No credit card?" The e-mom made a face as if she is seeing eighth wonder in the world. "We never use it" Anko's mom informed. "No problem Pay me by cash or cheque. I'll prefer cash." " I don't think I have this much cash in the home Anko's mom whispered. However the e mom's ears were sensitive enough to register the murmur. She called her assistant " Bhai please come in." A strong and stout man with beard and villain -like face entered in. His shirt bore the words 'Recovery Agent'. "He is 'Bhai' our representative, he will come to collect the amount. When should I send him?" e mom said. " Bhai please take a note of this house and the persons " e mom told Bhai. "Our Bhai is a serious guy. He can't even chuckle." E- mom admired his qualities. "But I can make people weep" Bhai announced in his thundering voice. " No, not now, Bhai See this Anko and his mother are really good people. They won't force you to make several rounds." With these words e- mom signaled their departure. "Please wait" Anko's mother said in hurry. She went in and took out the money she had saved for emergency and cleared e- mom's bills. E-mom left the home with a big cash and bigger smile. Later Anko tried the eatables but he could not swallow any of them because the experince of the e-mom had embittered his mouth. His mother tried to console him but it did not help much.
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Ravi Torne is a Playwriter and short story writer.He writes in English and other languages.Specialist in Sci fi, humor, children's Literature etc.Experince in writing scripts for radio & films. He regularly writes articles on http://www.ITnauts.com. email: ravi@itnauts.com You can use this article for free as long as you keep the links intact.
About the author:
Ravi Torne is a Playwriter and short story writer.He writes in English and other languages.Specialist in Sci fi, humor, children's Literature etc.Experince in writing scripts for radio & films. He regularly writes articles on http://www.ITnauts.com.
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Some Jokes Are Simply Not FunnyGhanaWebBy Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D. A couple of days ago, I came across an article that presumed to impugn the integrity of the presidential candidate of the New Patriotic Party (NPP), by paradoxically claiming that while each and every resident of the ... |
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