"I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."Calvin Trillin
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Learn To Recognize The Source Of All Blessings
In 1978, I was ordained to the gospel ministry. To mark this special event, my parents surprised me with a new 1977 Dodge Aspen, the most spectacular present I ever received. It was white, with a red interior and beautiful cloth seats.My old car had so ...
Need a Hobby?
----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------- Need a Hobby? By John Sammon A man needs a hobby. I guess I'm not well-rounded. I seldom take a vacation (never, come to think of it), and I don't spend a whole ...
Tickle Your Funny Bone
Practicing humor can lift tension, reduce stress, diffuse confrontation,improve communication, and enhance your relationship with others in anygroup. It can also increase productivity, learning ability,cooperation, teamwork, and profits while energizing ...
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Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?
Quote: “Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress.” -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner
Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don’t fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.
Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."
Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, “There is now.”
Quote: “It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.”
Q: Who audits IRS agents?
Quote: “Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.”
Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?
A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.
Quote: “The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."
Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when
you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?
Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?
A: Have them fill out a tax return.
Quote: “Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.”
Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?
A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.
Quote: “When are we going to be allowed to list the
government as a dependent?”
People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.
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That Tiresome Warning About Inappropriate JokesNew York Times, United States - Jan 5, 2009“That lady on the loudspeaker is threatening to arrest me if I make an inappropriate comment or joke about security,” I insist, braced for yet another ... |
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