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I approached the cell where they were holding Tonto. I had some feeling of fear at the prospect of being locked up in a 6x8 cell with the man who shot the Lone Ranger. The guard asked me if I wanted to go in and I mentioned this. " He also scalped him. ...
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Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005.
For Immediate Release - March 9, 2005
VICTORIA TO HOST FIRST ANNUAL "FEAST OF FOOLS"!
VICTORIA -- The capital of British Columbia will play host on April 1, 2005 to the 1st Annual “Feast of Fools”, in honor of the city’s most coveted award as a “Cultural Capital” of Canada, and a disparaging shortage of greeting cards to celebrate "All Fools Day"!
Organized by F.O.P.S. (the Fools on Parade Society), this festive folly will raise awareness of and support for the valuable and vital role performed by the fool in our society.
President of FOPS, Pierre Buldoo (CEO of PinkElephants2go.com, a newly-minted, jest-in-time™ technology firm of nerds and noodleheads) stated in an interview, "We stand behind this event because it exemplifies the saucy spirit of all those who make this 'Land of Flakes, Fruitcakes and Nutbars' home."
FOPS event coordinator, Iona Buttsworth, (the former Duchess of Dither), indicated that "this odd occasion will appeal to everyone who wants to let their 'Inner Fool' come out to play after dark." She added that "besides mixing, mingling and munching, the ‘Feast of Fools’ encourages people to show off their hilarious haberdashery, strut their silly walks, or simply sally forth in their most outrageous outfits...not to mention a fine opportunity for flibbertigibbets to sing soppy songs, flaneurs to recite loopy limericks, and flapdoodlers to draw a droodle or two".
Tourism officials are said to be quite elated at the prospect of a "boon in buffoons" to the local economy.
Costume rental shops report brisk business in trying to keep up with the insatiable demand of name-dropping nincompoops looking for funky fashions and gaudy gowns to wear to the event.
Paparazzi, politicians and port authorities are falling all over themselves to be first in line to welcome the "Ship of Fools" expected to dock with a VIP aboard.
The vaudevillian vessel, carrying all manner of vanity-conscious voyageurs, also includes a little-known, ripsnorting royal named HRH “Victoria Elizabeth” (a.k.a. “The Quipping Queen”). “She-who-must be obeyed”, (as she is sometimes referred to by her false friends and wonky well-wishers), will be accompanied on
this official visit by an eclectic entourage of quirky courtiers led by Viscount Bedfont (a somnambulant sexagenarian).
Press Secretary for “The Quipping Queen”, Count Guidobaldo Le Touquet, indicated that “oodles of Boffos and Bling Blingers, Joy-Riding Jokesters and Happy–Go-Lucky Hoodwinkers, plus an assortment of Goofy Goddesses, Moxie Mavens and Spunky Sprites will have a jolly good time on this auspicious occasion!”
Dr. Thor Trewoofe, Professor Emeritus of Laughing Matters, recommended that “those with light heads and light hearts wear fanciful fool’s caps and dazzling dunce hats so as to distinguish themselves from marginally merry souls if not the mirth-challenged mortarboard members of Victoria’s three esteemed Ivory Tower Institutes of Inklings.”
For just $5 plus the cost of a barmy beverage (with a very long, impressive, foreign-sounding name) or a smashing snack (with a short but incredibly snooty menu label), fools may rush in and enjoy the high jinks, tacky treats, and piffling prizes as well as applaud the winners of some very incredulous achievements.
Date: Friday, April 1, 2005 (April Fools' Day)
Time: 7:00 p.m.
Place: James Bay Coffee & Books
143 Menzies Street
Victoria, British Columbia* (Canada)
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* In the heart of beautiful downtown Victoria, British Columbia conveniently situated not far from the major Inner Harbor tourist attraction, a delightfully decorated Pecksniffian playground, known affectionately as the Provincial Legislature.
NOTE: Lollygagging-lifestyle and levity-focused folk wishing to know more about “The Quipping Queen", (awarded top honors as ‘best of breed’ humor blog in 2004 by CanadaBlogs.com and Weblogs.com) are cordially invited to visit the virtual vanity chest of chortles, guffaws, and shenanigans at http://www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com./ and our brand-new online giggle gallery at www.flickr.com/photos/quippingqueen
About the Author
Victoria Elizabeth, a notorious Lady of Leisure who enjoys lollygagging about in the ludicrous if not loopy lane of life when she's not busy keeping her quibbling quidnuncs and constipated courtiers in line over at The Quipping Queen -- www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com
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